Anonymous asked: How do I stop being disappointed by crushes? I’m a 20 year old guy and I’ve never been in a relationship, I get offers from people or anything, but I’m just never interested in those people. But every so often I develop crushes and I always imagine a relationship with them and then when I eventually find out they don’t reciprocate the feelings, it always makes me feel pathetic and terrible. How can I stop myself from building myself up and being sad about relationships that never happened?
I think you’re focusing on the wrong problem.
It’s perfectly normal to get disappointed when the people we like don’t like us back. It’s perfectly normal to feel lonely. All those things are alright. Yes, they suck, but they just mean that you really cared and wanted something, and that’s a good thing! Being excited is fun. Liking someone is fun. If you refrain yourself from getting excited, you also refrain yourself from feeling things like hope and joy. Try. Get excited. Get that mushy happy feeling when your crush looks at you. Accept that sometimes you’ll fail or get rejected, and you’ll feel things like sadness and disappointment, and that’s okay.
The problem here is the fact that you feel pathetic when people don’t reciprocate your feelings. You need to focus on the fact that rejection doesn’t make you pathetic. You’re not pathetic. Sometimes things just don’t work out and sometimes people just don’t want to date you even though you’re totally awesome. It doesn’t mean that you aren’t a great person or that others won’t like you. Try to tell yourself “yeah okay this sucks, but I’m still TOTALLY AWESOME.” It’s hard to believe sometimes, but the sole act of trying is a good start.