(I also posted this on Thought Catalog, http://www.thoughtcatalog.com/lara-murallos)
Face it: you will never be a girl standing in front of a boy waiting for him to love you. You should know by now that it’s not easy to make Heath Ledger fall in love with you — even if you have Kat Stratford’s fashion sense. You aren’t Julia Stiles. You also don’t have perfectly trimmed bangs, good taste in music, and 500 days to spend with Joseph Gordon-Levitt. Wake up to the fact that you will never be paid a million dollars just to cry over a boy. You only have to cry over the fact that you can’t have a million dollars.
Your relationship is not a movie. Get over it. Stop comparing your partner to every single leading man in Hollywood history. He will never be John Cusack in Say Anything. He will never serenade you with a boom box just because you’re mad at him. He is who he is, and you should appreciate everything he does to make you smile whenever you’re furious at him. You have to remember that it is the little thing that counts.
Anonymous said: How do I stop being disappointed by crushes? I’m a 20 year old guy and I’ve never been in a relationship, I get offers from people or anything, but I’m just never interested in those people. But every so often I develop crushes and I always imagine a relationship with them and then when I eventually find out they don’t reciprocate the feelings, it always makes me feel pathetic and terrible. How can I stop myself from building myself up and being sad about relationships that never happened?
I think you’re focusing on the wrong problem.
It’s perfectly normal to get disappointed when the people we like don’t like us back. It’s perfectly normal to feel lonely. All those things are alright. Yes, they suck, but they just mean that you really cared and wanted something, and that’s a good thing! Being excited is fun. Liking someone is fun. If you refrain yourself from getting excited, you also refrain yourself from feeling things like hope and joy. Try. Get excited. Get that mushy happy feeling when your crush looks at you. Accept that sometimes you’ll fail or get rejected, and you’ll feel things like sadness and disappointment, and that’s okay.
The problem here is the fact that you feel pathetic when people don’t reciprocate your feelings. You need to focus on the fact that rejection doesn’t make you pathetic. You’re not pathetic. Sometimes things just don’t work out and sometimes people just don’t want to date you even though you’re totally awesome. It doesn’t mean that you aren’t a great person or that others won’t like you. Try to tell yourself “yeah okay this sucks, but I’m still TOTALLY AWESOME.” It’s hard to believe sometimes, but the sole act of trying is a good start.